I’m a control freak so when I found out I was pregnant for the first time I was terrified!
I was so used to having control over everything. The thought of having a human take over and change my body and having no control over how that human came out honestly scared me. This baby was making me feel sick, my boobs where sore and my belly was in the awkward stage of too much pizza and baby.
So how can you hand over the control when it’s the last thing you want to do??
Simple … you don’t! Or rather you choose to take control over the things you can take control of. You focus on those and learn about the things that worry you the most and you let go of what you know for sure you can’t control (based on evidence and actual facts NOT what people who know nothing tell you or what you see on One Born Every Minute!).
Its only when you start to look into things you realise how much CONTROL you DO actually HAVE. When I first started to look into the scary birth bit I found that loads of the things that I thought had to happen that actually didn’t. I had made up in my head that I had no options and that I must comply based on what I had seen on films and the telly when it was rubbish.
The story I was telling myself (and others had told me with certainty) was that it was something I had to endure to have my precious baby and that you can’t influence birth or make it a lovely experience. I now know this to be incorrect.
If you want to control something in other aspects of life you find out how it works and how you can work something to your advantage. Building and birthing your baby is no different.
By the time I birthed my first I was informed. I knew how to control the situation that made me feel more comfortable. I knew that I could say no to things I didn’t want and wouldn’t be pressured into things without gathering all the information. You can help yourself to take the power that is yours.
Here are my top 5 things to do to feel in control:
- Think long and hard about what it is that’s really bothering you. The aspects of birth that worry you the most not just the general lack of control, go deeper than that. As an example you may be worried about contractions and the pain that comes with them. In this case you could find out what is happening when you are having a contraction or ‘surge’ as I prefer to call them and find out wats to breathe through them.
- Get your birth partner involved. This can be anyone you trust and you know will have your back. It does NOT have to be the partner of your baby. Pick someone that you know will advocate for you if required… share the control!
- Prepare your mind. Mindset is key. All the successful people in the world, the athletes, entrepreneurs, motivational speakers etc they all work on mindset. They fill their heads with the good stuff, they do not fill their heads with negative thoughts or how they are going to fail. Adapt this for pregnancy and birth. You may like ‘I am strong’, ‘I can do this’, ‘I am loved and supported’, ‘I am safe’…. Whatever works for you.
- Look into the different places you can birth your baby. You may be surprised at what is available and what is not then pick a place based on how it makes YOU feel.
- Make sure YOU make the decisions and that you don’t agree to something you know nothing about. This comes down to research and looking into your options before you birth.
Knowledge is power!!!